I know it's not quite as catchy as the original, but it works! Just think about the biggest narrative in baseball so far this season: Those dastardly Yankees and the unfair advantage offered by their early adoption of the torpedo bats.

Despite all the talk about New York's torpedo bats, Zac Gallen shut them down Wednesday night with 13 strikeouts in 6.2 innings.

Arizona Diamondbacks SP Zac Gallen had a tough go on Opening Day, giving up four runs in four innings. He rebounded on Wednesday at Yankee Stadium.